Understanding anxiety and depression using the Window of Tolerance

As a clinical psychologist who has experienced anxiety and attended therapy myself, I found understanding the Window of Tolerance helpful in my recovery, and so thought I would share this with you today.

So, What Is the Window of Tolerance?

This idea, introduced by Dr. Dan Siegel, focuses on the optimal emotional state where we can function effectively, feel connected, and engage with life.

Imagine your emotional range as a window. Different factors may reduce the width of this window, such as experiencing trauma, biological factors or if we are neurodiverse .  This can mean that it is more challenging for us to remain in the yellow and so we have to work harder to be able to emotionally regulate.  When you’re inside this window of tolerance you can manage stress and emotions well. However, when stress or anxiety pushes you out of it, you may find yourself in one of the following states:

•            Hyper-arousal (Fight or Flight): Here, you might feel overwhelmed, anxious, or irritable, ready to "fight" a threat or "flee" from it. This is when you are in the red on the diagram.  I speak with clients about the evolutionary perspective of this state being you are trying to run away from a lion to stay alive.

•            Hypo-arousal (Freeze or Flop): In this state, you might feel numb, withdrawn, or depressed—essentially "freezing" or "flopping" instead of engaging with your emotions or surroundings. This is when you are in the blue part of the diagram.  From our example above, this occurs when you have tried to outrun the lion, but recognise this strategy is not working.  Your system them turns to trying to act dead with the hope the lion will run past you.  Both of these states are trying to help you stay alive, but we are no longer needing to outrun the lion.  However, our system can perceive aspects such as needing to perform a presentation, social situations, failing at an exam or others judging us as the same level of threat, so our nervous system responds in the same was as if we are still cave people!

How Can Therapy Help?

In therapy, one of our goals is to create a warm and safe space so we explore emotions, triggers, and coping strategies. Here’s some examples of how we can broaden your window of tolerance:

1.          Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Mindfulness exercises, help you stay present and recognise your emotional state without judgment. Grounding techniques, like deep breathing, can anchor you in the moment, reducing anxiety and enhancing emotional regulation.

2.          Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Identifying negative thought patterns and work to reframe them. This can make a significant difference in how you respond to stress and anxiety.

3.          Emotion Regulation Skills: When you recognise you are out of your window of tolerance, tools, such as the "STOP" method (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed), can empower you to regain control over overwhelming moments.

4.          Exposure Therapy: If anxiety holds you back, we can gradually expose you to those stressors in a safe way, helping you learn that you can handle difficult situations.

5.          Building a Support Network: Identifying relationships in your life that can offer support, helping you connect with others during challenging times.

The Positive Outcomes of an Expanded Window of Tolerance

As you spend time in therapy, the aim is to broaden your window of tolerance so you are better equipped to handle life’s challenges and can remain in your most effective state. This will allow you to experience:

•            Increased resilience during stressful times

•            Reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression

•            Improved relationships and communication

•            Greater comfort in experiencing a range of emotions

•            Enhanced overall well-being

Conclusion

Understanding your window of tolerance is a key step in managing anxiety and low mood. Therapy can support you on this journey, helping you find balance and resilience. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to contact me at dr.sarah@berger.me.uk Together, we can create a path toward a more fulfilling life and less overwhelm J